As I was starting Vampire Ltd I was afraid that it was going to use vampirism as a metaphor for business. That comparison feels rather tired to me; after all, Matt Taibbi was calling Goldman Sachs a “vampire squid” over a decade ago. And Vampire Ltd does go there. However, it’s just so funny — and it lampoons specific aspects of the corporate world so well — that I found myself laughing most of the way through the game. At one point one of my kids even called out from another room, “Dad? Are you O.K.?”
Vampire Ltd is a shortish parser game in which you play the role of a down-on-his-luck vampire out for revenge against a former business mentor. This ex-mentor is another vampire, now running a major corporation in the process of producing a new, reliable source of clean energy. Your goal: Sabotage! It doesn’t matter, of course, that a reliable source of clean energy would be a huge boon to the world. That’s all part of the parody.
As mentioned, where Vampire Ltd really shines is its specificity. For example, there is a great deal of text devoted to skewering the inanities of a typical job interview. (“Why did you leave your last position?” asks the manager. Options include “Run out of town by a pitchforked mob.”) The IT department, with its penchant for requiring constant password changes, doesn’t escape ridicule, either. The response to EXAMINE ME includes the delicious line “Still as blood-sucking as ever.” There are also a couple of side comments that I’m pretty sure are aimed at the Twilight series. All of these unexpected details kept me laughing out loud every few minutes as I played through the game.
Vampire Ltd is a little light on puzzles for my taste. There are a few, but they’re rather easy. However, it’s clear that this game isn’t trying to be a puzzlefest. Instead, it’s trying to make you laugh by parodying the corporate world — in an Anne Rice-meets-Dilbert sort of way.
The implementation is strong. Room descriptions are sparse, and the world map is small, but the game gave good responses to nearly every reasonable action I tried. I found no bugs, either.
Overall, Vampire Ltd is a very funny shortish parser game that draws its humor from lampooning the corporate world. The business-as-vampirism metaphor may be a bit tired, and I predicted the plot twist from the beginning (too much watching of Cars 2 with my kids, perhaps), but the parody and the twist are both well-done. More importantly, the game really shines with its one-liners and comedic attention to detail. Throw in the light puzzles, and lots of players should have fun with Vampire Ltd.
An Exercise for the Reader 